Work has been so slow of late that I didn't go in to the office today. I can't remember the last time I had morning time alone at home after the kids went to school. It was quite fabulous. I ironed while watching Rachel Ray--heavenly!
Later in the morning I had an appointment with the counselor/therapist Mark and I have been seeing off and on for the past couple of years. His name is Wayne Brown and I look forward to the time we spend with him--it feels like such a "safe" place to lay down my burdens and discuss them with an objective, insightful, and non-judgemental third party. (And thankfully, our insurance covers a good part of the cost).
Today I went alone for the first time and Wayne helped me sort through some of the emotions I've been experiencing since the change in our family dynamic (a.k.a. Charlotte and Emily both leaving home). He reassured me that the feelings I'm having are almost "textbook" in nature, but in saying so he didn't diminish them. Rather, he made me feel like at least I'm not a freak. He also said that many times, when there is a shift such as this in family dynamic, something that has been hovering the background will "bubble up"--a new problem or situation to deal with comes to fill the space that used to be taken. I'm not sure if that makes sense the way I put it, but it made sense to me when Wayne and I talked today. Interesting things to think about.
The not-so-good part of my day came later, when I found out that my Explorer needs new brakes and rotors. I hate spending money on boring things like rotors for a car that is fifteen years old. Unfortunately, the metal-on-metal grinding noise my car started making yesterday every time I brake is not something I can ignore.
Mark took my camera with him on his business trip to D.C., so I have no photo documentation this time. It's probably just as well, as Wayne may have thought me a little odd if I started snapping photos during our session.
I wear a size 7 1/2
- Denise
- I am a mother of four and wife to Mark. Especially lately, I've found myself having to face a wide assortment of responsibilities I hadn’t anticipated—wearing many hats, some might say, but I prefer to think of shoes (hats mess up your hair). Some shoes I wear more than others, and some I wish I never had to wear again. But I confess I enjoy the wide assortment of shoes in my closet and—much to my husband’s dismay—I never tire of getting new ones. With my two oldest off to college and two younger children who still need my time and attention at home, I'm hoping to realize that if I have to wear so many stinking shoes, then at least maybe I can pull it off in style.
What I Believe
8 comments:
Maybe the problem with your rotors is what has been hovering in the background and now, with Emily and Charlotte gone, its "bubbling up?" Just a thought. =) Haha I'm sure if you explained to Wayne that the photos were for blogging purposes he would totally understand!
Haha. I don't know what therapist wouldn't want a self portrait taken with one of his patients! I'm glad that you were able to have a good morning at home. Sometimes those do so much good. Love you!
So pretty much I love the "Wayne's World" label--ha! I'm glad you could go and talk with a disinterested party (such a great word). And mornings by yourself always are good for mental health.
It's so fortunate that you have insurance and that it covers therapy. I think EVERYONE can benefit from talking with a counselor, and I really wish we had insurance right now and that we could go to counseling.
The thought of things "bubbling up" is scary to me, I'm so glad you can talk to Wayne and be validated and heard.
A photoless week? Does your phone have a camera? My cell phone is too ancient for that sort of technology, but I know other people who use their phones when their cameras are unavailable. Remember, the self-portrait stops for no man!
Also, you will move to the top of the champion bloggers of all time list if you take a self-portrait during therapy!
First of all, I just about died over your Wayne's World label. Too funny!
I was just going to say that Jill always says that everyone could probably use a little therapy, then I saw that she beat me to it.
I loved it when you and Mark told us about your meetings with Wayne. It really does seem like a safe place to lay down and look at your feelings objectively.
What you said about things surfacing made a lot of sense. I hope whatever it is is not too overwhelming. That's a lot of change happening for you.
Such a bummer about the car. My very least favorite thing to spend money on.
Love you.
I just found your blog--I love it. So sorry about the car problems. The only thing worse than spending money on cars is replacing things that have been stolen. Very annoying.
Honestly, you don't know how much I think, "WWDD" (What would Denise do?) in various situations. Now you have a blog and I have a place to research that topic.
Our car is 14 years old now. I hate spending money on it but it's better and cheaper than having a car payment.
I went to a counselor for about 5 months or so. I really loved it. I want to call him and set an appointment. It is such a safe place to let everything out. I felt like I grew a lot when I talked to my counselor.
Alone time at home during the day sounds heavenly. I can't wait till the kids are in school full-time. It's hard to believe Kira will go to Kindergarten next year and Joshy the year after that. It's funny how you miss your kids and I want to be able to miss mine but they are always with me :)
Hmmmm, sounds like a very very good day and a very very bad day! All in all, sounds like you are doing better with the partial "empty nest". After a fews weeks, you may get to enjoy it!
I must admit, I miss the photo documentation. I'm positive, however, that you, of all people would know how to use the cell camera! Go for it!
love you.
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